News
New Year Resolutions
Hello. It’s been a while since I have written in my blog. I went through a very intense transitional period last September when conditions forced me to make a major and immediate decision regarding my living situation. I had been living in Hollywood for the past 4 years, when my room mate abruptly told me she wanted to move out. I had some clues this news was coming, but it still came as a shock. I had been, for some time, wanting more space, though my apartment in Hollywood did have a breathtaking view. It was a true gem, but it was rather small. Extremely small, in fact… and in a very busy part of town near Sunset Blvd, which was fun, but also brought with it the constant loud noise of sirens and helicopters, an occasional person screaming and on a rare occasion, a bullet shot. In short, I had longing to be somewhere more peaceful, where I could play my music loudly at any hour of the day or night, or enjoy silence, if I wished.
It was hard to move. I had created so many beautiful memories in that place. I learned to mix shortly before moving into that apartment near Sunset and La Brea. With my new obsession at hand, I spent countless hours practicing while looking out over the shimmering lights of the city. I had met many characters during that time, a few of whom have turned out to be very close friends. Many of them were interesting colorful people who crossed my life path for a reason. To bring information, experience, or a painful lesson. I shared wonderful nights staying up with friends, raving, past dawn into the day beyond. Those were great times. I experienced pleasure and torment between those walls, passionate moments and bliss. Also, painful betrayals. After 4 years of living right in the heart of it, though, I suppose I felt satisfied.
I decided not to stay, it was time to move on. I sought refuge in a new location closer to nature. I started looking online for a house in Santa Clarita. Located only 45 minutes North of LA, Santa Clarita has a completely different vibe and energy about it. “Canyon Country”, as they call it, is beautiful and nestled in the mountains, with far fewer crowds than Hollywood, it is easier to get around. In many places it is breathtakingly beautiful, filled with diversity of life ranging from mountains to forest to desert, with deep canyons and high altitudes to explore. Most people here are not seeking fame. In general I find the locals to be more family-oriented. It reminds me of my home town of Lompoc, CA. There isn’t much going on, but it feels like people genuinely listen to you. There is also less ambition, and life moves at a slower pace.
Of course, every place has its pros and cons. I needed the constant push and pressure I received when I lived in Hollywood during the time I was living there. At this turning point in my life I felt quite motivated, and I no longer need to blatantly see “the hustle” taking place right before my eyes. I felt confident that I could get up and work toward my goals each and every day even if I was in a remote location. In fact, I often dreamed of being in one. I needed a break. I hoped I had established enough of a name for myself to continue to survive in the DJ, rave and club scene loop without being in the immediate area at all times. With a deep breath, I decided to move out to the countryside where I could be more at peace. My goal was to meditate more often, enjoy nature as much as possible, and when inside, to work on music without distractions. I found a charming country cottage with an acre of land. It was settled, I moved on Oct. 1st 2014 and with the help and kindness of my friends, the move went quite smoothly.
Talk about night and day. The change was extreme! Instead of fighting it, I went with the flow and decided it was time to take on even more responsibility, so I adopted a puppy. I found the exact type I had always wanted: a white german sheperd/wolf mix. The breeders told me she was a boy, but turns out she is a girl. Originally Falcor, her female name became Vesper. She is the cutest little angel and blessing in my life! She gave me a reason to work extra hard and achieve my goals through the next few months, which I spent mainly in seclusion unpacking, thinking, and refocusing. I was in hermit mode, and much needed. These past few months have been challenging and extremely happy for me at the same time.
Now I’m completely back up to speed and I’m working on 4 new dance tracks. I’m so happy to say I’ve been playing out more than ever these last few months, and things are looking pretty solid for the first few months of 2015. I’m grateful! I also just acquired a new manager. What a great way to start the year. I’m feeling really positive about the future!
There are a lot of things I want to achieve in 2015.
My new years resolutions:
-Meditate at least one hour per day
-Do yoga at least 3-5 times per week
-Put music production as my highest priority
-Update my blog at least once per week
-Jog at least 3 times per week w/ Vesper
-Go minimum 2 times per week to the gym
-Take at least 2 lessons per week in the study of musical instruments
-Vocal warmups every time I’m in the car alone
-No TV, books only
-take vitamins every day
-Be more peaceful and patient with others
Hope I can achieve these and, I’m glad to be back on task with my website.
One last thing I wanted to share with you. My most recent performance at Nuclear Winter last Saturday was so wonderful! I had a fantastic time, the support was so strong from friends and also new fans. THANK YOU to the fans!! Here are some pictures of the event taken by my dear friend, Tim Rich AKA Undermarks AKA Scenesnaps. Thanks for reading.
ARTEMIS, my original track with FREE download!
My heart and soul went into the creation of the Electrance anthem,
Please stop by for the free download!
www.soundcloud.com/amandadarling/artemis
New single “SYMETRA” just released!
SYMETRA (Original Mix)
A mixture of uplifting Trance with a hint of Complextro and a classically influenced breakdown.
Comic-Con 2014
I went to Comic Con once, a long time ago, when I was a child. I went with my uncle Mike. He and my aunt Steph were the most outrageous and cool relatives I had. He is the lead singer of a punk band called Agent Orange and she used to have a platinum white mohawk. It was the 80s. They were always taking me and my brothers to do fun things when we were kids. One year, they took me to Comic Con. I remember buying some mangas (Japanese comics). Back then, I was into Sailor Moon, I mean REALLY into it, and at the Comic Con I got to read the Sailor Moon manga for the first time. I also discovered Fushigi Yuugi (The Mysterious Play) while I was browsing the convention center floor. Still one of my favorite anime series of all time.
Flash forward to 2014, and I had been wanting to attend Comic-Con for years, but it just hadn’t happened. There is usually a decent amount of planning involved. My friends Tom and Liza invited me to stay in their hotel with them and kept encouraging me to come. They go every year, and are well known in the Comic Con community, I met them a long time ago doing community musical theatre. Being that I’m a gamer, role player and somewhat of a computer nerd, of course I was down to go. Not to mention my love for manga, anime, Star Wars, Batman, and so on. Perhaps the angels heard my whispering hopeful thoughts. One cos-playing friend and fan of mine who is always posting up pictures of his costumes on Facebook had been asking me to attend cosplay events with him for a while. I was impressed by his generosity when he asked if he could buy me an entrance to Comic Con! He requested I dress as Wonder Woman, and seeing as I already had 2 wonder woman costumes, naturally I agreed. I also had had a Firiona Vie of Everquest outfit made a year prior by my friend and costume designer, Scarlet Snow.
I had never known anything so magical as EverQuest, the moment I first discovered it around age 12. The game took place in a mystical world on another planet. The game was Dungeons & Dragons based. If you didn’t know, Dungeons and Dragons is based off of The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. So it’s an incredible, beautiful fantasy world that basically depicts an ancient mythical past of Earth. It was a massive online RPG, and back then, people would actually role play. It was a lot of fun, and to this day, I’ve never known another online RPG that was that good. Elves in the game were beautiful, slightly taller than humans, with fair skin, and almost always with white or blonde hair. They had more intelligence and wisdom than humans, but less physical strength. They were more spiritual, and they were said to be immortal unless brought to an untimely death. The guide said they made good clerics. So I made a character similar to the beautiful woman on the game cover.
These were nothing like the little old men elves from the Christmas folklore I had been taught as a child. No, these elves were magnificent. The magestic woman on the cover of the game was a famous High Elf Cleric known as Firiona Vie. Her fair skin and beautiful blonde hair, her amazing gold and blue outfit, and her profession as a healer in the game… these things fascinated and intrigued me. I longed to identify with her role as a Cleric; instead of fighting, usually the Cleric of the group would sit behind and meditate, recharging Mana (magical energy) in order to heal the group, except when undead were around, because Clerics were especially strong against them. Most players would find this part rather boring, but I loved it. Clerics were always much needed and in high demand, so I always felt I had a place when I played Everquest. It was the perfect escape from my awkward 12 year old self. Instead of awkward and with braces, I could imagine I 
was a gorgeous, fully developed elven goddess-healer. So I created my own character very similar to Firiona Vie and became quite obsessed with the game for a time. I even hung out with a gang of other characters every night at Chess Board, a place in the game that resembled a giant game of chess (BEFORE Harry Potter came out…). We’d stop at the local town and buy mead and get “drunk” in the game, which would do two things: increase your alcohol tolerance (not exactly sure why we needed that, but I always thought it was funny, being under aged and having never actually gotten drunk in real life), and it made the screen ever more blurry and hard to see. It would even jumble up your words when chatting and make you sound intoxicated. For me, it was the best escape I could find during my tween years.
The morning of July 24th arrived and I woke up at around 6am. After getting my things together, I left my Hollywood apartment, stopped for 2 bubble berry rockstars and rushed over to my costume designer’s house in Sun Valley. Her name is Scarlet Snow. Scarlet is quite tall and fair skinned, and always has her hair dyed some outrageous color. She is usually seen wearing brightly colored clothing, somewhere in between a goth and a raver. She’s a dear friend of mine. She had been making the finishing touches for my costume, some boot covers. We devised a plan, since I would be walking around all day, the Firiona Vie boot covers could go over my red wonder woman boots, and I could carry the rest of the costume in my ninja turtle’s backpack. Everything looked great, the only thing was my hair. Firiona Vie is a blonde, and my hair is auburn. The final polishing we needed to finish the look would be to have the hair stand upright, as in the photos here. I’m not the biggest fan of wigs, so we attempted to add blonde extensions. After nearly 2 hours of trying everything from bobby pins to an actual wire hanger, there was nothing we could seem to do to keep the hair upright. I decided to just let the hair sit in a low ponytail and get on my way. I headed out to the car.
I’m saving up for a new car right now (Corvette Stingray, fingers crossed!) so at the moment, I’m borrowing my mom’s 2004 Mitsubishi Eclipse. It’s actually a pretty sweet ride, except for one thing. One very important thing. No air conditioner. It was July 24th and I was driving to Comicon in San Diego for about 3 hours. Along the way I listened to the latest mix down of my forthcoming track, “Symetra”. That was the only thing keeping me sane in the heat. Upon arrival I felt like a wilted flower, but I put my costume on over my sticky body, paid $35 to park, and started my journey, about a mile’s walk to the actual convention. I was so happy to be there, my heart was racing!
I met up with my friend Mario and he got me my badge. We received collectable Comic Con 2014 bags; there were about 6 different ones as far as I could tell. I traded for the Hobbit bag, the one I wanted most. He was looking awesome as Conan the Barbarian. It was one of the most original and best costumes I saw all day! Plus I’m proud of him for getting into such great shape to play the character. We thought his Conan costume would compliment my Firiona Vie quite well, and it turns out we were correct. Since there are barbarians in the game of Everquest, it looked just right. For the next 2 1/2 hours we walked around the hallway in between the general public and the con itself, taking pictures. Everyone was so excited to see our costumes. We met people of all ages, all sorts of people, many of them sporting their video game, comic book or anime pride. I ran into quite a few pokemon fans, which made me happy because I am one, too! I took many marvelous pictures, but unfortunately my camera was later lost.
After several hours we went inside. I had been peeking in all day. I and by then I was truly starving. I hadn’t eaten a single thing yet that day. I don’t normally have energy drinks, but I knew that was the only way I could have gotten up that early! One bad side effect was the loss of appetite, not to mention there literally had not been time nor opportunity. So my request immediately after entering, as much as I wanted so badly to look at all of the displays, we went straight to the cafe. We were surrounded by a rainbow of incredible collectable items; new video games and giant posters of them; characters in costumes; mannequins; large, interactive displays where you could pose for pictures; and, of course, comics.
I was happy to receive the last available veggie burger. There was no where to sit. The security guards would not let you sit down on the floor, and there was not enough table seating. We made the best of it. Once we were nourished, we enjoyed displays of rare artistic batman costumes. One of them appeared to be hand painted, with blue water color, adorning the leather costume with artistic renderings of real live bats. Batman has always been my favorite of the American comic book heroes. I feel he’s the most believable of the bunch, really his story is quite dark, but not impossible. Plus, I have to admit I find the character sexy, especially when played by Christian Bale. I admit I’m also a fan of the 80s Michael Keaton batman as well… I mean, why not? After that, we took pictures at a MINECRAFT station, which was a lot of fun, I used to dabble with that game last year. I wanted to explore more, but time was running low at this 
point, and we still had a whole another costume to change into!
Mario had to return to his hotel to change, but I had my plan already set in motion. In just one quick trip to the ladies’ room, I re-emerged as Wonder Woman! I have had so many people request me to play this character, my costume designer Scarlet Snow even made me a Wonder Woman costume as a gift a couple of years ago. It’s very tight and made of latex and spandex; I wore it with a long red cape, partly for the character, and partly for the children present. Though I am only 5’6”, I’m pretty fit, so I did my best to pull off playing this Amazonian woman. My 2nd costume received an equal amount of attention, perhaps more, from lonely men. I tried to acquiesce by posing for them in photos. Every person who took a picture received one of my business cards as well. One woman later on interviewed me for an online blog, asking if I knew what “Cosplay is not consent” is. I told her no. She explained that it’s a movement of women standing up for themselves, that they don’t deserve to be hit on just because they’re in cosplay. I told her that I really don’t mind, as long as people are respectful.
After a while of waiting, I ran into my friends Tom and Liza. They were dressed as Captain and Mrs. America. They looked adorable and it matched my wonder woman, with all the red, white and blue. Later we also ran into little Tom, who was dressed as The Hulk, in an incredible hand-molded costume. By then, my feet were killing me and we were in the mood to change into something comfy.
After it was over I planned to leave, but Liza and friends invited me to dinner at The Old Spagetti Factory. It was delightful and delicious, I especially recommend their sangria. It was a lot of fun to laugh and share stories of our comicon adventures. Later that night we walked around the Red District, which was going off, and then waited almost an hour for a train to pass through downtown. Eventually we decided to walk around it, and we saw people camping out for many, many blocks, to be the first allowed in the next morning. When we asked them why, a couple waiting in line told us they wanted to get signatures from Nickelodeon voice actors who would be making appearances the next day. It intrigues me to see such die hard fans, but I love it, too. It’s great to get excited about something, isn’t it? Even something rather silly or insignificant to some can completely fulfill another person’s desires. I say, good for them. I considered camping out for Episode 1 of Star Wars. Looking back, I should have! I need to have that kind of experience someday.
After resting in the hotel that Tom and Liza kindly invited me to, I drove home the next day. An incredible time. Funny, my horoscope has said that day, July 24, would be one of my best of the year.I’d say that’s accurate! I felt so loved and welcomed by the people of Comic Con. I never felt any judgement or competition. It was refreshing. I also learned a lot. For one thing, if you’re going to do cosplay, it’s better to go all out. Take the time to get the hair right, the accessories, and if possible, get a custom costume made. The little kids I met were honestly the most heart warming part of the experience. One little girl seemed so happy when she saw me dressed as Wonder Woman. She must have been about 3. She gave me the biggest hug couldn’t stop smiling.
I highly recommend Comic con to anyone, though I would say definitely pre-plan as much as possible! Getting a hotel makes things so much easier, especially when you need to look nice in a costume. It also helps to carpool and avoid extremely high parking fees. Bring snacks, too, if you can. Aside from all that? Have a blast! Going to Comic Con invigorated me to push myself more as a cosplay DJ. I have always been into this sort of thing, and I’ve never really heard of a DJ who does both. I am really wanting to tap into this market. It’s my comfort zone. I hope I see you there next year!
Unexpected
The most amazing thing about life is that we never know what’s about to happen. My trip to England is a perfect example of life’s unexpected moments! I’m laughing now, but sometimes it’s hard to know how to handle them. In my instance, I was extremely excited that I had been cast as an EDC Bond Girl. A raver at heart, I’ve been attending Insomniac’s events since 2006. I have been a resident of Exchange LA for Insomniac Fridays and attended or worked at EDC every year for almost 10 years now. I was so happy when I heard I was being cast as a “Bond Girl”. I was thrilled when, at the end of filming the promotional video, I was invited to perform at EDC UK (See the video here).
I told everyone I knew and saved up for my airfare and travel costs. Two of my close friends made plans to travel with me as well, although they booked separate flights. We were all going to meet in London for a dream vacation, touring Ireland and Scotland as well. I felt so happy that I would finally be visiting the land of my ancestors! I’m part British.
The night before my departure I stayed up all night, packing and getting my radio show “AXION” done in time for my 4 o’clock flight the following afternoon. My dear friend Nick came to give me a ride to the airport. We sped away, complete with my brand new luggage.
We had a coffee at Starbucks and I went through security and onto the plane. I had never flown Virgin Atlantic before. It was delightful to hear all the stewards and stewardesses speaking with British accents. Their mannerisms, even the way they wore their makeup, was noticeably different and foreign. I kept ordering red wine, and it went along nicely with the stewardesses’ red dresses, red shoes and red lipstick. I was reading “A Game of Thrones” and feeling more and more excited by the minute about my trip. Soon, I would land and share with my friend Joann the Union Jack matching earrings I had gotten for us! Who new how many amazing contacts I would make out there, at clubs for spinning and performing in the future, not to mention new friends. Most of all, I wanted to visit Stone Henge and share a Guinness with my friends Joann and Chris on the emerald isle of Ireland.
After a 10 hour flight, even the wine and special cookie I had eaten didn’t allow me to forget how uncomfortable I was, though the view from the window seat I had been given gave me a breathtaking view of the clouds and green parted hillsides of England. I couldn’t wait to get off the plane and meet up with Joann, however; I was in need of a shower, a non-airplane meal and a good night’s rest. I finally exited the plane and with a big smile. I was wearing a neon yellow shirt with my DJ logo on it, rainbow shoes, jeans and my ninja turtles backpack, along with my hot pink Premo Plugz.
I spoke with an immigration officer at the border and she asked my reason for visiting. I told her primarily for tourism, but that I would be performing one day at EDC UK music festival. Silly me, I thought she would know what that was and be excited for me! I quickly realized that this beautiful, yet very stern woman has no idea what EDC was, and that she didn’t care. As she continued to question me, I realized had said the wrong thing. A hot pain shot up my back into my head. I’d said the forbidden word: Work.
I asked her, “Can’t you just say I’m attending the festival?”
“Well, that wouldn’t be the truth, now would it?” She said. Then she took me to sit down in an area away from everyone else. I asked for water. I then started to realize what I was in for. I asked if I could retrieve my checked baggage, but they told me I had to wait. Hours went by. I tried to meditate and keep my thoughts positive, but as the hours ticked on I shed some tears. A kind woman who was sitting to monitor me and a few other people was giving me some comforting words. She told me not to cry, that it wouldn’t help my case.
“But, I’m sad,” I said quietly.
After a while I was taken into a different part of the airport, and along the way we attempted to find my luggage. It was nowhere to be found. We spent a decent amount of time looking, and eventually the officers gave up. They had me fill out a missing luggage report. The man helping me had a thick Indian accent and was nearly impossible to understand, which wasn’t his fault, but made the moment even more frustrating. Things started to look dimmer for me, as I had, of course packed all of my favorite outfits for this trip, it was the last thing I wanted at that moment.
Next I was taken into a room and several photos were taken of me while I was fighting back tears. My finger prints were taken and more photos. All of my possessions were seized including my cell phone. The only thing I was allowed to keep on me was money.
At this point I really did start to feel like a “Bond Girl”! Most of the ladies working the border control were not only gorgeous, but spoke with eloquence and had their makeup done just right, looking snazzy in their dark blue uniforms. I felt like a spy in a James Bond film. They patted me down several times, which I admit I didn’t mind too much.
I was taken into a room with no windows. There were a few other people in there. A middle-aged business man from Pakistan, a young woman from Mississippi and a man who didn’t speak English, I assume he was Arabic; he was wearing an agal. There was a TV in there but it smelled badly of B.O. I noticed several pictures on the wall, one of a dog wearing a woman’s hat, and two pictures side by side: one of Marilyn Monroe, but all in red, and one of a tiger’s face. I found this humorous, because I follow Chinese astrology and I happen to know that Marilyn Monroe was a Fire Tiger, as am I. To me, this felt like some sort of sign. I was brought a tuna sandwich and started speaking with the other detainees.
“Why are you in here?” I asked the young woman. She was pretty in a girl next door sort of way. Thin, and wearing glasses.
“I was just here to do some baby sittin’,” she said in a thick southern accent. I found it extremely charming.
“You told them that?”
“Yeah. Man, I just wanna go home now. I don’t wanna work here no more.”
“Who paid for your trip?”
“My parents.”
“Nobody told you not to say that?”
“No.” She was obviously sad and had been crying as well. Shortly thereafter she was sent back to the US.
I was taken away for an interview by the original officer I had met. I was taken into a small room with a desk and I was quoted word for word about why I was there. I told them I’d gladly not work at the festival (even though I REALLY wanted to), if I could be allowed to stay as a tourist.
“Well, you can’t just go changing your mind now,” she said with a slightly condescending tone. Although considerably shorter than me, she was clearly the one in control. She told me she had called on my behalf and that she doubted there was any chance now for me to stay. I would be forced to leave.
I asked if I could fly to Ireland or France instead of going all the way back to L.A. That’s when I learned that when you get “Removed” from a country, you don’t get a choice. You have to go back to the country you’re from.
I was tired and delirious at that point, it was really all a blur. I think I was in the detention center for about 7 hours. At one point I tried to lead my fellow detainees in a stretching session, but none of them had high enough spirits. I did lunges around the cell. Another man was brought in, an attractive, fit guy from New Zealand. He was in the country to play Rugby. His VISA apparently had not gone through in time. We talked and shared stories; misery loves company. I kept trying to throw on a comedic twist. I was permitted to send a few text messages on my cell phone, which I gladly did, letting my friends know what happened. I wanted to call a lawyer, but the pay phone in the cell only took British coins. I really wondered how any detainee could be expected to have British coins…
Someone from Insomniac called but at this point there was nothing he could do. He told me it happened to another performer the year before. I was trying to be as calm and upbeat about it as I could, but I honestly felt like I had been left in the dark. I felt embarrassed and like a fool.
I was not accustomed to the feeling of not having freedom. It came as a real shock to me in the detention center. It felt extremely uncomfortable, like being in a cage. When you feel like, OK, I’m done here, I just want to go somewhere else, and then other people tell you no, you can’t. Very offsetting.
Around 9pm I was taken into a high-security bus. Luckily my luggage had been found. I was then transported to an actual jail called “CMS”. This was my only chance to actually see England. I cherished the 10 minute ride, where I could see the freeway, some green grass and trees, and a few buildings near the airport. It looked like so much fun. All I wanted was to be able to get off that bus.
Now after night fall, I was brought into this jail and once again had all my possessions removed. I was patted down for about the 4th time, but by now it was starting to bother me. I was being treated like a criminal when I hadn’t committed a crime. Something sparked in my brain, the tiger instinct, I’d call it. They took my finger prints again and more mug shots. This time they took away all of my possessions except for soap, toothbrush and pajamas. They even took away my money, which they deposited into a bank they had at the jail. I got a receipt. Then they tried to put me through a metal screening device and into a cell, but at that moment I freaked out.
“I need to know exactly what time I’m getting out of there before I go in there,” I said.
“We don’t have that information,” One woman said. There were about 5 workers in total behind the counter and beside me.
“This can’t be right. I need to speak to an attorney before I go in there. This is a mistake!”
“You don’t have a choice, you have to go in,” They said.
“I don’t want to! They wouldn’t treat people this way in my country!” I began to raise my voice. In retrospect, I don’t even know if that’s true.
“Oh, so you think you’re better than us?” The first woman said again, with a pronounced English accent. I really felt like I was in a war movie or something.
“I don’t think I can physically take all of you down… can I?” I said out loud.
“No… I don’t think so.” One of them replied. I noticed all of them got on guard; the energy of the room changed.
“Then… I guess I have to agree!” I shouted, crying. The main woman started lecturing me about how I shouldn’t throw a tantrum, but in retrospect, I feel my reaction was pretty understandable. I don’t think people should just willingly submit to such things such as being locked up without receiving more information or speaking with a lawyer. It’s good to question something like a wrongful incarceration in a foreign country, in my opinion.
A nice man came to talk to me and calm me down. I was told I could use the computer to contact an attorney, but it was already past business hours and they told me I’d most likely be taken back in the early morning. I was shown to my cell, which had a main room with a TV and a very polite and kind blonde woman who was in charge of watching me. They let me use the internet, where I frantically researched immigration law and sent out emails to about 10 English lawyers before my internet time was abruptly cut short.
I took a shower, which was the greatest thing I could have had at that moment. It felt incredible. I went to my room to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep for long. I kept waking up questioning my life, my goals. Wondering if this was bad karma, or if there was still hope. I prayed all night and sat in meditation when the blonde girl came to wake me up around 5am. I was allowed to have some cereal and then taken back in the bus along with 2 other girls. One of them was a very large woman, she appeared to be part black, or maybe a gypsy; she spoke with a thick French accent. She was at least 6 feet tall and 275 pounds. I asked her why she was in there, she said she had been there for 2 years, and they were sending her back to France. She helped me carry my bags. I liked her.
The other girl in there was also from the United States, a hippie-looking girl with glasses and baggy pants. It didn’t surprise me when I learned she was from the Bay Area. Her attitude about the whole thing was a lot more submissive and laid back than mine. I guess everyone reacts to these things differently. I exchanged some words with the lovely golden haired girl who was looking after us. She had an Irish accent and she said she was sympathetic to me, she said she wished she could have given me a hug. I’m pretty sure that girl was an angel.
We went back to the airport in the bus, which they kept locked while transporting us. I said goodbye to those two girls and went back into the holding cell from the day before. I couldn’t really eat. I asked to speak to a Chief Immigration Officer. I had learned in my research the night before that they are the only ones allowed to make a final decision regarding immigration cases. My case was re-opened and I had another interview. She was kind to me, but told there was nothing she could do at that point to reverse the decision. As I prepared to leave there was one other amusing thing that happened. I overheared the ladies at the main holding cell remarking about one inmate’s number, and that number happened to be 007. I exclaimed, “Double O seven!” In excitement. They laughed.
I had to accept that I had taken every route possible to be able to stay. There was no hope; I was going back and I knew it. Like smelling Mom making a delicious cake and even licking the bowl, but not being allowed to have an actual taste of the finished cake, and then discovering you have salmonella. I was escorted from the cell to the front of the line at the airport. The plus side to this was that, I realized, it actually made me look like a big celebrity. Two officers pushed me through to the front of the line and I noticed people started staring at me. I laughed and waved, looking much better today after having a shower and putting makeup on. I found it pretty humorous, hopefully this somehow changed the reality of the universe so it can happen again for real next time!
The moment I could, I ordered more wine… I’m really not a big drinker, but in my shoes, it was the only way I could imagine being able to handle the reality of my existence in that moment, and facing another 10 hour plane ride. It was only about 10AM.
Another passenger asked me to trade seats so his family could sit together. I agreed, so I was moved to a seat next to a woman with extremely bright dyed orange hair. It looked rad. On the bright side, I was given another window seat. I found it funny also that through all the times my baggage was checked and inspected, nobody ever figured out that the cookies in my turtle pack were special. I munched on the final edible and prepared to fall asleep. There was a moment when the weed and wine kicked in at the same exact moment, giving me an extreme feeling of euphoria, just before I promptly passed out.
I woke up to the nightmare going on inside my head, everything had worn off. I had to face reality now, with a huge headache. I took the one and only snapshot of the whole journey.
We landed. I visited Starbucks and ordered the biggest water they had. My wonderful room mate, Tiffany came to pick me up. I went home and felt so happy to be back in the USA… on the 4th of July, no less! We drove past a giant American flag painted on the side of a huge department store, and I rolled down the window, shouting “I LOVE AMURRICA!” In an exaggerated hic accent. I was crying again, but now, out of joy. We got home in time to relax a bit and then we went to the roof to watch the fireworks. I never enjoyed them so much. It was an unforgettable life moment. I finally understood what it really felt like to be free. It felt great.
My neighbor saw me up there and shouted my name in astonishment. That was the start of the embarrassing hundred times I would have to explain what happened. He expressed sympathy and gave me a hug. I went home and had to spent a few days recovering.
I learned a lot. I am certain I will never enter another country again without a VISA, and I’m sure I’ll never work abroad again without a contract. If anything this made me more hungry than ever for international travel. Now I also have a broader idea of how lucky I am to be allowed to live in the United States. Now I understand why some people are so scared of immigration. I understand what it feels like to be in jail (at least, I got a taste of it). I understand what it feels like to be held against your will, even without committing a crime. I know what it feels like, and for that I’m glad. All in divine order. Lesson learned. I do hope something good will come of this.
At least I had extra time this week to work on my radio show, AXION! Just released it last night. Time to throw myself into my art… music is the greatest healer.
Ceaseless change
I just woke up from a nap and had a cup of coffee, so now I’m zooming! Yes, it’s 3:36am on July 2nd. I’m getting on an airplane later today and heading to England. I can’t believe it! I really can’t wait. I’m traveling with my dear friend, Joann. We’re planning to play it by ear more or less, but I am performing at EDC UK on July 12th. I’m really looking forward to this journey! I’ve never been to England before, even though I am part British. This is a trip I have always dreamed of taking.
I was just getting my day started early with packing and such, when I read an email from a former friend. It’s just so strange to look back sometimes, on relationships that seemed very important at the time, then flash forward to the present moment when you and that person no longer speak. I’m talking about breakups, whether they be friendships or relationships. In my particular case, there were certain people I loved and cared for; some of them as my own children, some of them as lovers. It’s so hard to accept the changing phases of life when someone you had taken in as family now regards you as, basically, a stranger.
I always wish that I’ll someday meet a romantic companion whose passion equals mine. Where you don’t just “move on” and forget about everything that happened. Instead, you let that person know, you’re unique and irreplaceable to me. You ask for that person to stay in your life, taking whatever steps are necessary to secure their friendship as a life-long bond. I do have friends like that. They are rare, but I treasure them.
Today I embark on the next chapter of my existence. Hopefully I can make some great friends and connections during the 20 days I will be staying in Europe. I’ve decided to buy a digital camera for the trip and document it well in photographs. I will do my best to blog as much as possible while I’m away!
I’m grateful to the universe, and to EDC for this dream come true!
ARTEMIS on YOUTUBE with Visualizer!
I’ve created several videos with my brother, Nick Darling, who is a very talented graphic designer. He made some incredible visualizers for my mix tapes, one of which is currently #1 on youtube (II. Reflection of Truth).
Now we are releasing our first visualizer with 100% original content, my track “Artemis” and my brother’s “best visualizer yet”… I hope you will stop by and check it out. If you feel moved, leave a comment!
Here it is:
New single “ARTEMIS” Just Released!
Without further ado, it is my great honor to present my first original dance release, “ARTEMIS”!
Seven minutes of deep melodies, epic builds, hard Complextro drops, with a hint of magic, my aim was for “ARTEMIS” to be a unique and memorable track. I wrote this song from the soul, and I hope you will enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed creating it!
CLICK HERE to listen and make sure you also take advantage of the FREE DOWNLOAD.
AXION Returns July 8th!
THE RETURN. July 8th, the return of AXION, my radio show, as a monthly podcast! Will be available every 8th of the month starting this July on my website.
It was a learning experience and a great time doing Mixtape Fridays for the last 6 months, but before that, I used to do my own live radio DJ broadcast called “AXION”. Now, it’s time to bring it back.
The show will also air on a British station, www.trance-energy.org – dates/times TBA.
Yogananda’s Lake Shrine
Well, Artemis couldn’t be released today, the release has been delayed one week. On the bright side, it will definitely be out no matter what by June 26th. My friend F3tto is helping me mix & master it, and it’s 98% done. We added some of my vocals, too. Now we just need to meet once more for the final touches.
Yesterday I went for the 2nd time to Yogananda’s Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades. It was beyond beautiful. Aside from having Yogananda’s beautiful presence, there were many gorgeously arranged plants and flowers. Swimming around the lake were 2 graceful, large swans, and countless turles; water lilies, a boat, a windmill, and meditative sayings along the path.
They have a wonderful gift shop as well, I bought the jasmine incense, only $2.00, it even has Yogananda’s image on it. The least I can do to say thank you for this incredible gift he gave us to enjoy!
It is free to visit, I highly recommend it to anyone. http://www.lakeshrine.org/
Buy Artemis with Special Photo!
I’m getting ready for my first trip to England and I appreciate your support!
If you would like to select one of the photos below, please send $25 to me via paypal, dj@amandadarling-sc2z4fjdao.live-website.com. In return, I will mail you one of these photos of your choice, large size (8 x 10), without watermark, on photo paper with an autograph and an advanced copy of my track, “ARTEMIS”. Please include your full name mailing address. Thanks! ($5 of it will go toward shipping).
OR
If you would like all 8 of these photos emailed to you in large size without watermarks, the price is $50.
Paypal me: dj@amandadarling-sc2z4fjdao.live-website.com Just visit www.paypal.com
Make sure to include your mailing address, email address and a description of the photo(s) you want!
Photos by Bruno O’Hara and Steve Paynie
Spinning Under the Full Moon Friday the 13th!
With the full moon overhead tomorrow night, I will summon the spirit of Ma’at to help me select the best Egyptian Dubstep, Complextro & my original track, “ARTEMIS” to share with you, 11pm – 12am on the main stage of A Rave called RA. By the power of RA!
More info: https://www.facebook.com/events/1392713170953417/
